About Me

Sunday, February 9, 2025

Book review: Cleavage: Men, Women, and the Space Between Us

In her first memoir, She’s Not There (2003), Jennifer Finney Boylan takes us from childhood through the process of transitioning into a woman. And in the end, the reader is left with the same question that faces Jenny: What about her marriage?

In Cleavage, the author is in her 60s and looking back at her life, as a boy, man, husband, father, trans woman. The memories are so vivid and perfectly preserved in two genders. The disassociation of being a girl in a boy’s body somehow does not destroy or diminish those experiences, like attending an all-boys private high school, dating, marrying Deedee and having two children, living by the lake in Maine, and making bread. Boylan is surrounded by a supportive community and loving family and friends.

As a professor and public figure, there’s little sense of conflict, antagonism, or anti-trans sentiment. It made me wonder, was Boylan holding back negative moments? Or was this book’s intention a celebration of their life? But then, there’s this line that echoes through me, especially now: “I am practicing how not to get beaten within an inch of my life.”

Boylan writes about the societal pressures of being a woman, of being lesser than: the voice of uncertainty, the immature vocabulary, the salad instead of steak. It’s oddly disconcerting when she starts obsessing over weight. Boylan also covers trans conventions, voice lessons, passing as female, that in between space, and the privilege of being trans—the expensive surgeries and procedures available only to people above a certain tax bracket.

In the end, I felt like I was invited into Jenny’s world, though I also wanted to sit at the counter to watch the breadmaking and then bite into a slice.

Thanks to Celadon Books for the ARC.

rating: ★★★★

Cleavage: Men, Women, and the Space Between Us
by Jennifer Finney Boylan
Celadon Books, 2025